The truth from April 25th

It doesn't happen extremely often,
usually on the train ride back to the city,
after talking to my father in the car for an hour,
when I realize nothing has changed;
                I was just further away from the sameness.

Talking about technology of today
and what it will be in the future,
chips in our wrists and google computers on our eyes.

It happens when I think too much about society,
pop culture,
the 2012 presidential candidates,
graffiti in the subway,
how unhealthy my dad is
how little there is to talk about between us.

When it happens it's never an overwhelming desire to die,
it is merely an indifference to disappearing.

Often on my way to work after a few days in bed with Gary,
watching the cat run into the cemetery,
the chime of the church bells before I open my eyes in the morning,
premature reminder that my bliss is temporary.

Really the best solution is to go across the world
             do some adventuring.
                 try not to think about having to return for a while.

It happens usually on uncertainly grey days;
when you're not sure if it's going to rain or not
when dark clouds hang heavy in the air
and even when the sun shines you speculate,
                                                                                     it won't be there long.

my shoes are a bit too loose,
my scarf is a bit too warm.

I wonder what home will feel like
Never again like it was,
it won't ever be like that again,
all of us,
blissfully young,
blindly in love,
undoubtedly happier than ever before,
Ah, youth.