I miss you empty and dry
in the old black car raining through the windows
You looked at me better then
You watched me sleep then
That was before I was pregnant with you,
your mommy,
your rock,
You filled up my belly, my mind, my heart
How can I ever let go now?
I love you when I see your art
When I feel it, hear it,
the words you shared with others and never with me
You would hate everything I do now
is that why you can't speak?
coward.
And I don't think of you when I'm backstage,
I don't think of how you'd be embarrassed of me dancing,
say I'm making stupid decisions,
acting like my mother
I won't ever think of you while I'm living my life
separate of ours
I mean yours.
But sometimes I lay on the futon and I hear your breath
silly words you'd wrap around me
say from across the van
captain sir,
you're in charge now,
nothing holding you back
except unanswered messages
the words of dead stars
dirty socks left on your floor
where the dog pisses
you don't care.
He'll be dead soon
and I'll take my cat back.
in the old black car raining through the windows
You looked at me better then
You watched me sleep then
That was before I was pregnant with you,
your mommy,
your rock,
You filled up my belly, my mind, my heart
How can I ever let go now?
I love you when I see your art
When I feel it, hear it,
the words you shared with others and never with me
You would hate everything I do now
is that why you can't speak?
coward.
And I don't think of you when I'm backstage,
I don't think of how you'd be embarrassed of me dancing,
say I'm making stupid decisions,
acting like my mother
I won't ever think of you while I'm living my life
separate of ours
I mean yours.
But sometimes I lay on the futon and I hear your breath
silly words you'd wrap around me
say from across the van
captain sir,
you're in charge now,
nothing holding you back
except unanswered messages
the words of dead stars
dirty socks left on your floor
where the dog pisses
you don't care.
He'll be dead soon
and I'll take my cat back.
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